Z-Pretty in Pink

February 13, 2009

Spring semester got off to a quick start. And now I find myself well into the semester, and wondering where January went.

Last semester turned out ok—sufficient if nothing else. I survived finals, classes ended, end of story. I don’t hesitate to say that I was very happy for the semester to end.  I don’t feel like my morale has quite risen back to normal yet…hopefully I will get there soon. I feel like a rough semester always affects people (including me) for longer than the semester itself.

This semester I am taking Public Choice, Public Economics (aka Public Finance), Cost Benefit Analysis, and Legal Foundations of Democratic Capitalism. My classes going well so far, however I still haven’t mustered the amount of motivation needed to really push through the semester. I have three 25-page papers to write, along with the normal amount of mid-terms and finals.

I finally cleared up the question about whether I am required to take a thesis class or internship. After some confusion, we figured out that I have the choice of the two. I am choosing to do an internship in the summer. At least in my case, I don’t feel like a thesis would be worthwhile. Now the task of finding an internship… Also, I found a class to take this summer, so I will be able to graduate in the calendar year that I had planned on. That calls for a “Woot!”

I feel like this blog should be more exciting—the first of the semester! Realistically, I am in the lull of mid-semester—the time before midterms that fools you into a false sense of security. My first midterm is at the end of next week, so this complacency will soon be conquered by stress and sleep deprivation.

Winter break brought a lot of time for me to think about my professional future. More and more, I don’t think I will ever end up being an “economist”—rather I will probably end up somewhere in the public sector (probably on the state level). Even though this program is has a specific policy focus (hence the term M.S. in Economic Policy), I feel like I am mostly surrounded by students who will directly go into economics or finance. My friend (another MSEP student) and I seem to be the only students with a goal towards the public sector, and I feel like that has made us stand out a little bit, and not necessarily in a good way. Perhaps economists don’t know what to do with our type of student, haha. I will keep this blog updated on my observations.

And now for my funny story: I went to a birthday dinner in the North End, where the owner of the restaurant would lead the whole place in singing happy birthday (including to my friend). The funny part is that before singing “happy birthday…blah blah blah” (not literally), he would warm up his voice (or that’s what I assume he was going), so it turned into “Huh huh huh huh happy birthday to you…” . The night I was there, there were at least five birthdays (probably closer to eight or nine), so by the end of our dinner, my dinner party had mastered our “huh” impersonation, so when he would warm up, our entire table would start singing along “Huh huh huh huh…”. The written story itself is awkward, but picture the situation: a giant table of grad students and the owner all singing “Huh huh huh huh happy birthday…” How weird for the rest of the restaurant, and how hilarious for my dinner group.

December 6, 2008

Four more days and I am done with my first semester in grad school…if only I could go into a temporary coma and skip these next four days altogether…

Although next week is Suffolk’s official finals week, I had two finals this last week—in Economics of Regulation and Micro. If I am going to be completely honest, I would have to say that they both sucked pretty bad. I know that “sucked” is not a very articulate word to use in a blog, but I can’t find a more suitable adjective for those two tests. It appeared that no one did well on either final, so maybe that should make me feel a little bit better? The finals were literally a one-two punch on my educational morale.

Next week I have finals in Econometrics and Macro, and a paper/presentation due for Economics of Regulation. Based off of my experiences with finals last week, it is safe to say that I (and probably all of my classmates) are less than enthused to go into next week. I just want to be done already!!!!

It is always hard to say how much of those finals “sucking” (ok not really a word, but it works) was my fault. I would like to think zero percent, however I suspect that is a little unrealistic. I think a big problem is that I became relatively good at knowing what to study in undergrad (not like I would skip anything—moreover just to know certain things extra well), and that strategy clearly isn’t helping me in grad school. I felt like both finals last week covered things that were not on what I considered to be really important…however what do I know…I am a lowly grad student after all.

I have really been fighting my motivation level these last few weeks. Every time I look over at my textbooks, my brain says “Wow I could really use another nap right now!” I feel like I am not going to do as well this semester as I had expected, and that obviously has an effect on my sense of efficacy, or perhaps what should be termed as my “snooze factor.” Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s the program, maybe it’s a combination of the two…I don’t know. I guess I’m just not used to feeling like this.

My funny story is more of a quick observation on Bostonians: they keep their umbrellas up for a ridiculously long time after it stops raining. The rain could be over for a while, and people are still sheltering themselves under their useless umbrellas. If it was one person I wouldn’t think anything of it, however I have noticed a trend lately. Maybe it is just the Bostonian version of sunscreen? Am I not cool because I put my umbrella away when it stops raining?

November 24, 2008

I am a little less frustrated with school right now. I’m not sure whether it is because school has gotten better, or whether it is because I just couldn’t be that frustrated any longer.

I have two finals next week, and two finals and a paper during finals week (the week after). I am glad that they are all spaced out time-wise. It has gotten to the time of the semester where all students just want to be done, and I too fall into that category. I am trying to be proactive, however I find myself sitting on my couch at times, saying aloud “I should really work on school stuff……..” and following that sentence up with a long silence and an even longer stint still on the couch. There’s nothing like a little end-of-semester-burnout, haha.

I met with Dr. Tuerck, the econ department chair, last week to talk about my future career goals, etc. He was helpful—I appreciate the fact that he was willing to sit down with me and really hash out his honest opinion, which is not something I have found a lot of in Boston. It was nice to get his take on my future plans, or moreover my future lack of plans. But that’s another story.

Looking back, I wonder if the MSEP program should require something like a series of micro and macro. Maybe something like Micro I and II and the same with macro. At times this quarter I wished that I had had more time to really invest myself in the subject matter, but oftentimes I found myself so busy that I was just “getting by,” which is something that I don’t like to do. So perhaps the problem is with my study skills…but that is beside the point. I can’t help but wonder if the program turned micro and macro into two semester-long courses that you could cover material at a slightly slower pace, which would allow (at least for people like me) to really, truly learn the material. I daresay that, at times, I have had to learn for the test, which is clearly not the best route, especially in grad school. Just a fleeting idea…

My funny story is more a tale of irony this week. Long story short, the only two Bostonians (other than people I know) that were nice to me today were the T (train) conductor, and a homeless man. Out of the hundreds of people that I came into contact with today, a mere two were friendly. And the icing on the cake is that neither of those men really needed to be nice to me—the conductor was busy and could easily have been curt to me (as most are), and the homeless man certainly is not required to be friendly. And yet both were…and no one else was. I’m not trying to draw a broad generalization of Boston, however I do find a large dose of irony in the situation. I sometimes suspect that Bostonians forget how much better it makes you feel to be friendly, and to have others be friendly to you…and it makes me a little sad. Perhaps all the nice people just decided to stay in today (and no I am not being sarcastic)…  Or perhaps Edna (the crazy lady that I have told stories about before—the one that threw vegetables at a car) has harassed one too many Bostonians and now they are all afraid of interacting with strangers—a scenario that I would actually believe, however on a much smaller scale. Ok now I am just rambling…

Until next week.

November 24, 2008

I am a little less frustrated with school right now. I’m not sure whether it is because school has gotten better, or whether it is because I just couldn’t be that frustrated any longer.

I have two finals next week, and two finals and a paper during finals week (the week after). I am glad that they are all spaced out time-wise. It has gotten to the time of the semester where all students just want to be done, and I too fall into that category. I am trying to be proactive, however I find myself sitting on my couch at times, saying aloud “I should really work on school stuff……..” and following that sentence up with a long silence and an even longer stint still on the couch. There’s nothing like a little end-of-semester-burnout, haha.

I met with Dr. Tuerck, the econ department chair, last week to talk about my future career goals, etc. He was helpful—I appreciate the fact that he was willing to sit down with me and really hash out his honest opinion, which is not something I have found a lot of in Boston. It was nice to get his take on my future plans, or moreover my future lack of plans. But that’s another story.

Looking back, I wonder if the MSEP program should require something like a series of micro and macro. Maybe something like Micro I and II and the same with macro. At times this quarter I wished that I had had more time to really invest myself in the subject matter, but oftentimes I found myself so busy that I was just “getting by,” which is something that I don’t like to do. So perhaps the problem is with my study skills…but that is beside the point. I can’t help but wonder if the program turned micro and macro into two semester-long courses that you could cover material at a slightly slower pace, which would allow (at least for people like me) to really, truly learn the material. I daresay that, at times, I have had to learn for the test, which is clearly not the best route, especially in grad school. Just a fleeting idea…

My funny story is more a tale of irony this week. Long story short, the only two Bostonians (other than people I know) that were nice to me today were the T (train) conductor, and a homeless man. Out of the hundreds of people that I came into contact with today, a mere two were friendly. And the icing on the cake is that neither of those men really needed to be nice to me—the conductor was busy and could easily have been curt to me (as most are), and the homeless man certainly is not required to be friendly. And yet both were…and no one else was. I’m not trying to draw a broad generalization of Boston, however I do find a large dose of irony in the situation. I sometimes suspect that Bostonians forget how much better it makes you feel to be friendly, and to have others be friendly to you…and it makes me a little sad. Perhaps all the nice people just decided to stay in today (and no I am not being sarcastic)…  Or perhaps Edna (the crazy lady that I have told stories about before—the one that threw vegetables at a car) has harassed one too many Bostonians and now they are all afraid of interacting with strangers—a scenario that I would actually believe, however on a much smaller scale. Ok now I am just rambling…

Until next week.

November 11, 2008

October 20, 2008

The highlight of last week was the economics department debate on the presidential election. Professors Tuerck and Haughton represented McCain’s and Obama’s (respectively) proposed economic policies and other hot issues. The turnout was great, and I thought that both professors did a good job with their arguments. I always enjoy debates, thus I thoroughly enjoyed myself. My only complaint was in regards to a yappy grad student that I had the misfortune to sit next to (but that is completely aside from the actual debate).

I have midterms in Econometrics and Micro next week…a winning combination?

My funny story is more of an observation this week. This will be an odd intro sentence, but I am amazed at how polite the homeless people are in Boston. When I lived in DC, if I didn’t give someone change, I was often verbally assaulted with racial or gender-related name-calling. I am not proud to say it, but I don’t always give homeless people change, and when I don’t in Boston, the homeless are beyond nice—gracious—even in the face of my lack of assistance. I’m not really sure where I am even going with this observation, other than to recognize just how polite and socially generous those people have been to me. In fact, I would argue that Boston’s homeless are often friendlier to me (with or without change) than the average Bostonian that I have come across. What this means? I don’t know. What is my point? I don’t know. But I do know that I really appreciate their friendly tone, even if I only interact with them for a few seconds out of my day.

October 14, 2008

I wish the MSEP program had more electives to choose from…I am still stressed about my possible inability to graduate in one calendar year. It is starting to be apparent that none of the elective courses will be offered during the summer, which will then push me back another quarter…i.e. money that I would prefer not to spend. I understand that grad classes are not in high demand during the summer, but I feel like this program shouldn’t be advertised as being possibly finished in one calendar year when it is proving so difficult for me to do so. Hopefully something will work out for me.

Last week was a week of discouragement. I really like three of my four professors, but the fourth is proving to be another story. I feel like he openly treats me like I am stupid in class…and, to be frank: I am not paying good money to go to class and be treated like a brainless Barbie. Heaven forbid I’m not on the same academic level as him…oh wait…if I was on the same academic level as him wouldn’t I be a professor as well, and not be paying to go to grad school? Isn’t the whole point of grad school to expand your knowledge? I swear, every time I add anything to the class conversation (and a part of my grad is based on participation, so I have no choice by to stick my neck out), he finds a way to discount it in some way. It is so discouraging. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, and I should be thankful to have three professors that I really like, but being made to feel stupid is like, a total bummer, like right?!! (Apparently that is how I talk when I am in his class.)

But other than potentially not graduating according to my desired schedule and dealing with a demeaning professor, everything else is going well. I had my first midterm…it well, so I can’t complain. I have my three other midterms in the upcoming weeks. I must say: I am thankful that the midterms are/were spaced out over a few weeks…I think I might die if all of them fell on the same week.

Now for my funny story: It happened yesterday, right by the Government Center train station (so for the backdrop, think lots of brick and stairs). I was on the phone with my mom, when this crazy guy (trust me I could just tell), sidles (literally sidles) up to me, and the following interaction ensues:

Crazy Man: Well hello pretty lady! You look just like Jodie Foster!
(Note: I look nothing like Jodie Joster)
Me: Thank you. (As I am still on the phone with my mother)
Crazy Man: What is your name?
Me: Blair.
(Note: My name is not really Blair)
Crazy Man: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes. He is in the NSA and is a very jealous man.
Crazy Man: Oh….
Me: Ok bye then!

Ah yes, the joys of “meeting men” in Boston. Morals (plural) of the story: One, it is much easier to scare crazy men away than offending them by being rude, and two, sometimes lying is the best thing you can possibly do, regardless of what our kindergarten teachers taught us.

October 6, 2008

Midterms are coming up…this fact has proven to provide an endless supply of stress for all economics students. It is amazing how midterm season becomes a constant reminder of just how much you have not gotten done, no matter how diligent your studies have been.

I participated in Career Services’ mock interview session last week—what a great (and free) service! I met with a local professional that gave me some really helpful tips on my interview strategies. And, luck upon luck, he just happened to be a Director at the Department of Revenue! So not only did I get to practice my interviewing skills, but I also made a contact at a great state agency! I was thoroughly excited, to say the least.

This entry is going to be relatively bare—I haven’t done much in the last two weeks except for work, attend class and study. I feel like the workload is moderate, but I still have one class that assigns a disproportionate amount of reading. I understand that the readings are integral to the class, but there is a point where it becomes a hindrance to my other studies.

I have run into my “quarter-life crisis” head-on since my move to Boston. How many times in a day can I ask myself, “What the heck am I doing with my life??” I actually would prefer not to admit how many times a day I ask that… Perhaps I should focus on the here-and-now: I am enrolled in a Master’s program where I am doing relatively well (maybe ask me again after midterms), and after that, I truly don’t know. But, I am sure it will all work out. However, the cynical (and mainly dominant) part of my personality balks at that kind of talk.

On to my funny story of the week: It actually happened today…I was sitting on the train, and the (normal and relatively affluent-looking) woman next to me finished eating her banana, and just stopped and stared at the banana peel for a good thirty seconds (awkward). But it gets better, and better! After her extended gaze at her banana refuse, she starts rubbing it all over her hands…and very diligently at that! Do bananas have some hand-healing property that I have never heard of?? After she finished this phase of her crazy antics, she starting searching in her large purse to find something to hold her banana peel (and by this time our entire part of train smelled like bananas). Low and behold, she pulled out an old plastic baggie with a bunch of melted and gross lollipops inside. As a side note, you probably assumed that I was staring unabashedly by this point—you were correct in your assumption. She takes out the melted, gross lollipops, gazes at them, and puts them in her purse!!!! She puts the sticky, melted, disgusting lollipops back into her purse without any kind of covering! She then places the banana peel in the baggie, and the whole scene is over, as abruptly as the bizarre chain of events began. Moral of the story: crazy is as crazy does…and comes in many clothing styles and levels of affluence.

September 26, 2008 (Week 3)

What a busy week! I suspect that a couple of my professors have forgotten that I (and my peers) actually have other classes to worry about other than their own. But, as one of them said, “You are grad students, you should be able to handle it.” Handle it? Yes, by a shoestring. Appreciate the seemingly excessive workload? No. But, fortunately for me, not all of my classes are that burdensome. It would be one thing if I were able to sit at home and study all day, however my fellowship (which is worthwhile, by the way) and my weekend job don’t leave me with that much free time. Ah the woes of being a grad student.

Sometimes my professors will discuss current events as part of their lecture (or a tangent). More often that not, I can’t seem to find a concrete answer to the economic questions they pose. I will admit: my inability to offer a relevant response makes me a little insecure, especially when a few other students seem to be so knowledgeable about the topics. However, I think I have to keep in mind that, even on the graduate level, I am here to learn—thus it follows that I still have something to learn (since I am paying to be here). How obvious a statement, but it reminds me that we are all students here, no matter how seemingly knowledgeable (and they very well could be) some of my peers are. What also concerns me about these situations is that my professors will think that I don’t know anything—an irrational fear of mine perhaps.

On Thursday, Professor Baek met with the new Master’s students to go over our degree requirements, etc. It was helpful to go over it all, but it indirectly raised my stress level: very few electives are offered during the summer. I am trying to get done with my degree program in one calendar year (so four classes during fall semester, four during spring, and one class and the internship during summer), so my dilemma becomes obvious: will I be able to find a class to take this summer in order to graduate on schedule? If I can’t find a class, that means that I am forced to stay in Boston until next December—a pricey and potentially educationally costly option (if I wanted to start a PhD program next fall). I guess all I can do is hope that an elective class is offered during the summer, and stop worrying about it. Nope…I’m still going to worry about it.

The economics department hosted and department social on Friday at the law school. I really enjoyed the event: the food was good (always a plus to a borrowed-money-dependant grad student), and I was able to meet and talk with a number of professors and students that I hadn’t met before. A few members of the graduate admissions team were also there—which I thought was a great “welcome” gesture (plus they were fun to talk to). All in all, I thought the economics department put on a nice event.  Sadly, I was unable to attend Professor Tuerck’s fall economics barbeque on Saturday—but my peers said that they really enjoyed themselves at the event.

I am finally starting to feel like I am “part” of the department. I think it always takes a few weeks to get acclimated to a new department (to the point where you don’t look like you are wandering around the hallways). The professors that don’t have me in class are starting to recognize me and say hello, which I always appreciate. Based on the events I have attended, and the people I have talked to, I feel like this economics department is a pretty welcoming one. I will admit that I don’t mix much with the PhD students, but perhaps (and hopefully) that will change as the year goes on.

Speaking of being “part” of the department, I am also relieved to find that there are all types of people in this department. Oftentimes I don’t seem to fit in with the normal economics type (I tend to be much more outgoing, and female, which in my undergrad was rare), and just as often I feel like some of those “types” don’t take me seriously. For those of you who have seen Legally Blonde, I have always joked that I feel like the Elle Woods of economics. For those of you who haven’t seen Legally Blonde…well….you should (my humble opinion). But, at least in the Master’s program where I have met a lot of people, I have found that the students are varied enough that you don’t have to worry about “fitting in” and, in my case, being taken seriously.

And now for my weekly story: I was walking by a Russian bookstore (I always marvel at the book titles and how I understand none of them because they are in Russian…I always stare at a written foreign language and try to understand as if it is just going to come to me), and the store had those famous little nesting dolls in the window. They have been in that window since I first moved to Boston a month ago (and they have always had a 20% off sign next to them…what an amazingly long sale…), but I had never taken the time to really look at them before (I was too busy trying to read the Russian by osmosis). Well this week I looked at the nesting dolls, and painted on them were the most ridiculous renditions of Disney and Harry Potter characters. Harry Potter was all but disfigured with a straight line where his lightning bolt scar should have been (so it looked like the painter’s hand slipped), and one of Mickey Mouse’s ears was the size of his entire torso. Not only did I laugh out loud and look like a weirdo to the patrons inside the bookstore (as they demonstrated with the disgusted looks on their face), but I also thought that the whole situation was slightly ironic: nesting dolls, to me at least, are a great, old Russian tradition, but with Harry Potter painted all over them, doesn’t the “old tradition” part kind of go away? Just a thought… And here’s another thought: what do you think the smallest nesting doll (hidden inside) was painted with? My guesses are Tinkerbell for Disney, and Hagrid for Harry Potter (ah the irony if you know the Harry Potter series). Moral of the story: Since the 20% off sign seems to be constant, you now know where to find inexpensive nesting dolls that are both culturally traditional and Westernized all at once (which is something I know that you have been waiting to find).

September 15, 2008

The second week of school always seems to be filled with this awkward silence--perhaps a substitute for students outwardly saying "Oh yikes, I guess I should start studying now." I have noticed that this week in the great hallways of Suffolk, and, I am slightly embarrassed to admit, I found myself thinking the same thing. As serious as any student can get, I think it is natural to enjoy the semi-relaxed nature of the first week of school--no deadlines, no big obligations. Then the second week hits you like a ton of textbooks (literally for many, including me).

This past week, I have found myself struggling with an internal tug-of-war: the graduate student in me wants to be as prepared and proactive as I possibly can be, however, the ex-undergraduate in me still prefers the time-tested procrastination method of schoolwork. But here is the silver lining to this internal struggle: in my program, I actually get to study subjects that I enjoy-- an extraordinary idea in comparison to the undergraduate "general education" classes that I oftentimes stoically sat through. How exciting to finally have interest in all of my classes. I may sound a little sarcastic in this statement, but I truly mean it-- what a pleasant sensation, to find my educational "thing," if you will. This discovery makes my internal struggle a little bit easier- now I can at least partially enjoy being proactive.

Seeing as this is only the second week of school, I don't have much to report on the real substance of the MSEP program yet, other than the fact that I like all of my professors this semester, and that my fellow MSEP students seem to represent a wide range of backgrounds--both of which always make classes much more enjoyable.

Lastly, I will include my funny Boston story of the week: On the train, I saw a woman wearing a safari hat. And it wasn't one of those straw-like gardening hats either--it was a true, hard-shell, safari hat. Why, I ask you?! Why would anyone feel the need to ever wear a safari hat? They don't look good. They don't shelter you from the shade any better than would a normal sunhat. They are probably relatively heavy. Plus, she was technically indoors (in the train). Moral of the story: If you think you have bad fashion sense, just stay away from the safari hats and you will at least look more fashionable than one woman in Boston. Of course, maybe it's the the new, up-and-coming thing, and I am just behind the times...but I doubt it.